Reading my old blog posts (again) and really wished I was back there again. Just bumming around taking driving lessons, going for random 5-day attachments and shredding paper on a daily basis for $8/hr. I shall frivolously say that I should be paid for studying instead of having to pay to study.
I think I would love to study music/learn more about music theory on a higher level. The science of music course was pretty interesting. Draggy at times (actually most of the time) and the music part of it is over. As in right now we're moving into the physics/science part of the module which just isn't as interesting as learning about intervals and stuff (i wanted to type staff. like you know musical staff. haha). Ok those didn't really sound interesting. But erm I think if one learns to appreciate music, there would be so much more in life to be enjoyed. And with youtube, all kinds of music are made available with just a few hits on the keyboard and a few mouse clicks. There's so much in life to be enjoyed but people are missing out even though they can choose not to. Like I could choose to learn about poems and lyrics and be wowed by literature (which is also in great abundance, especially with the internet) and be amazed at words and verses and be happy. But I think maybe I'll try to learn to appreciate more music first (I've always been afraid of languages).
There are so many things to be happy about. So many things to enjoy. Little or big it doesn't really matter. So stop complaining about life because if you are you're just not observant enough of the many wonderful things around.
Like the dark chocolate that's sitting in the fridge, waiting for me to eat it when I feel like it.
Anyway, apparently as long as one goes through chemotherapy, one is given a pes f.
The other day, I was thinking about why we do the things we do. Like why should I be going for lectures. I can choose not to. Just don't go lah. Just go out and watch a movie.
But I know that if I miss a lecture, I might not know certain concepts, then do badly for that module.
So what? Do badly then do badly la. Will die ah?
But do badly means CAP will drop.
Drop then drop lah, will die ah.
CAP drop means I get warning from scholarship provider. If drop too much until too li pu then provider may kick me out. Then got implications cos have to pay money.
Now where did this implication come from? The implication of not attending lecture (or cultivating that habit) and subsequently leading to that sad end.
From the day I decided to accept that scholarship.
And I probably didn't really think very long before I decided. I mean it could have been very different had I gone to army and had 2 more years to think and decide and know more.
Or will it be very different? Either way, I'll probably still go to a university and some obligation would make me wanna do well and not take studies lightly (obligation to do well, get a job and pay back my parents had they been the ones paying for my education, or the same motivation to maintain a certain CAP/GPA/whatever under another scholarship provider).
But then again, so what? Pay the penalty, travel the world, do the things you like!
But we all know how risky that is. Risk of what? Risk of eventually running out of money and not finding a stable/likeable/suitable job and regretting not obtaining a university degree. Risk of running out of ideas about what I really like to do in life. Risk of not being good enough at what I like to do.
So I took the safer option of having a certain guarantee that I don't have to worry too much about my next 10 or so years of my life. But then it's 10 or so years of following certain rules and expectations and directions laid out for me. I won't be able to significantly change my life just because I want to without thinking hard about various implications.
Yeah it's just too bad we all only have 1 life lasting about 70-80 years. There's only so much we can do, and we need to make a choice.
So how now brown cow? I probably won't deviate much from what I'm expected to do. Get a life sciences degree in NUS, probably go for masters somewhere else, work, work, work. If I'm lucky (and I really want to), get married, have kids and find a different sort of contentment.
I'm really sleepy and I didn't do the things I wanted to do when I came back to PGP. What I did instead was drink a bottle of Breezer, turn super red with weird allergy patches all over my body, hang around pple's room and blogging.
Well tomorrow's my free day. I'll go to the lab. Do sequencing stuff, do PCR/Gel stuff, do other stuff, like hand in a lab report which is due tomorrow but my lab partners have not done their part yet, do an essay, go home, have seafood dinner with my family, bum around at home blah blah. Ok my brain is not working already I'm very sleepy and I'm just typing whatever comes to my mind.
I need to pee.
Then I'll need to brush my teeth.
Then I'll go sleep.
Shall end this post on a low note.
Haiz.
I think I would love to study music/learn more about music theory on a higher level. The science of music course was pretty interesting. Draggy at times (actually most of the time) and the music part of it is over. As in right now we're moving into the physics/science part of the module which just isn't as interesting as learning about intervals and stuff (i wanted to type staff. like you know musical staff. haha). Ok those didn't really sound interesting. But erm I think if one learns to appreciate music, there would be so much more in life to be enjoyed. And with youtube, all kinds of music are made available with just a few hits on the keyboard and a few mouse clicks. There's so much in life to be enjoyed but people are missing out even though they can choose not to. Like I could choose to learn about poems and lyrics and be wowed by literature (which is also in great abundance, especially with the internet) and be amazed at words and verses and be happy. But I think maybe I'll try to learn to appreciate more music first (I've always been afraid of languages).
There are so many things to be happy about. So many things to enjoy. Little or big it doesn't really matter. So stop complaining about life because if you are you're just not observant enough of the many wonderful things around.
Like the dark chocolate that's sitting in the fridge, waiting for me to eat it when I feel like it.
Anyway, apparently as long as one goes through chemotherapy, one is given a pes f.
The other day, I was thinking about why we do the things we do. Like why should I be going for lectures. I can choose not to. Just don't go lah. Just go out and watch a movie.
But I know that if I miss a lecture, I might not know certain concepts, then do badly for that module.
So what? Do badly then do badly la. Will die ah?
But do badly means CAP will drop.
Drop then drop lah, will die ah.
CAP drop means I get warning from scholarship provider. If drop too much until too li pu then provider may kick me out. Then got implications cos have to pay money.
Now where did this implication come from? The implication of not attending lecture (or cultivating that habit) and subsequently leading to that sad end.
From the day I decided to accept that scholarship.
And I probably didn't really think very long before I decided. I mean it could have been very different had I gone to army and had 2 more years to think and decide and know more.
Or will it be very different? Either way, I'll probably still go to a university and some obligation would make me wanna do well and not take studies lightly (obligation to do well, get a job and pay back my parents had they been the ones paying for my education, or the same motivation to maintain a certain CAP/GPA/whatever under another scholarship provider).
But then again, so what? Pay the penalty, travel the world, do the things you like!
But we all know how risky that is. Risk of what? Risk of eventually running out of money and not finding a stable/likeable/suitable job and regretting not obtaining a university degree. Risk of running out of ideas about what I really like to do in life. Risk of not being good enough at what I like to do.
So I took the safer option of having a certain guarantee that I don't have to worry too much about my next 10 or so years of my life. But then it's 10 or so years of following certain rules and expectations and directions laid out for me. I won't be able to significantly change my life just because I want to without thinking hard about various implications.
Yeah it's just too bad we all only have 1 life lasting about 70-80 years. There's only so much we can do, and we need to make a choice.
So how now brown cow? I probably won't deviate much from what I'm expected to do. Get a life sciences degree in NUS, probably go for masters somewhere else, work, work, work. If I'm lucky (and I really want to), get married, have kids and find a different sort of contentment.
I'm really sleepy and I didn't do the things I wanted to do when I came back to PGP. What I did instead was drink a bottle of Breezer, turn super red with weird allergy patches all over my body, hang around pple's room and blogging.
Well tomorrow's my free day. I'll go to the lab. Do sequencing stuff, do PCR/Gel stuff, do other stuff, like hand in a lab report which is due tomorrow but my lab partners have not done their part yet, do an essay, go home, have seafood dinner with my family, bum around at home blah blah. Ok my brain is not working already I'm very sleepy and I'm just typing whatever comes to my mind.
I need to pee.
Then I'll need to brush my teeth.
Then I'll go sleep.
Shall end this post on a low note.
Haiz.
alvin bought a flamethrower at 2:15 AM
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