From someone's blog:
"Despite my green youth, here are a couple of things that life has taught me along the way and guidelines that I now live by. This list grows, so check back whenever you like. And now, I pass on my wisdom:
1) Never turn down free food.
… Even if you consider yourself to have the ability to pay for it. If someone wants to pay for our food, let him/her/them/it. “Free” food, however, sometimes comes with strings attached of course. But if the string is rather straggly and thin (such as a I-am-buying-you-this-meal-because-you-did-me-a-tiny-favour-and-I-actually-asked-you-for-the-favour-so-I-could-return-it-by-asking-you-out-cos-I-think-you’re-hot string), then I say “GO FOR IT!” On the other hand, if the string were a bit more twisted and knotted and generally crazy (such as a I-am-buying-you-this-meal-because-I-am-a-serial-killer-cannibal-who-likes-a-well-fed-kill string), then I’d have to say… maybe not. Then again, you can never really tell.
Just a word of advice to those women who stubbornly refuse to let men pay for their meals on dates: GIRLS?! WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?! Letting a man pay for your meal is in no way subordination. What matters most is not that he is aware that you have the ability to buy your own meals, but that you know it and you don’t lose it. Besides, letting him pay for this meal would mean more money to spend on another meal. Or a Kate Spade bag.
2) Always check for toilet paper
‘Nuff said.
3) Work is never more important than sleep
Personally, I cannot function for long without sleep. I’ve heard of tales of machines (I don’t consider them people) who run on a diet of Red Bull and Milo, but seriously? Why would you rather be hunched over a crummy desk full of assignments than snuggling under a soft blanket of eternal warmth and happiness? Besides, when you sleep more, you work better! It’s been scientifically proven (or something like that).
And, just one word: EYEBAGS. Oh wait, if you have a plastic surgeon I guess that’s fine. Darn. Oh I’ve thought of another word!: DREAMS. Dreams are like watching TV in your head, except instead of Grey’s Anatomy and Meridith’s whining, it’s your subconscious whining! Best. Drama. Ever.
4) Money can buy happiness and those who insist otherwise are either in denial or just jealous of rich people.
“LIES!” “Materialist!” “MONEY FACE!” – yeah, yeah okay I will take your rotten tomatoes for a bit. But honestly, money can buy you comfort in life. And with comfort, I believe that yes, people will feel better off than if they were uncomfortable. Money can buy warmth, shelter, food, water, medical care, education… With money there is no doubt that you will be given the chance at a happy life. It’s up to you to screw that up.
But no, I don’t think that money can buy love. Aaaaha the idealist in me speaketh.
5) Trees make people happy :)
I mean, hello? Trees = firewood, paper, autumn leaves (the best), flowers, tree houses, swings, shade, squirrels, life, oxygen, prevention of landslides (more important than you think!) et cetera. Need I say more? Go hug/plant/kiss a tree today.
6) Some clothes are really just not meant for you.
Some people say that all we need is the right attitude to carry off certain looks. I definitely agree, but only to a certain extent. You cannot completely ignore your body shape and face, people! Imagine some fat babyface in a Stepford Wife getup. That is just disturbing. Image consultants exist for a reason, darlings.
7) Sing in the shower daily
Better than prescription drugs. True story!"
"Despite my green youth, here are a couple of things that life has taught me along the way and guidelines that I now live by. This list grows, so check back whenever you like. And now, I pass on my wisdom:
1) Never turn down free food.
… Even if you consider yourself to have the ability to pay for it. If someone wants to pay for our food, let him/her/them/it. “Free” food, however, sometimes comes with strings attached of course. But if the string is rather straggly and thin (such as a I-am-buying-you-this-meal-because-you-did-me-a-tiny-favour-and-I-actually-asked-you-for-the-favour-so-I-could-return-it-by-asking-you-out-cos-I-think-you’re-hot string), then I say “GO FOR IT!” On the other hand, if the string were a bit more twisted and knotted and generally crazy (such as a I-am-buying-you-this-meal-because-I-am-a-serial-killer-cannibal-who-likes-a-well-fed-kill string), then I’d have to say… maybe not. Then again, you can never really tell.
Just a word of advice to those women who stubbornly refuse to let men pay for their meals on dates: GIRLS?! WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?! Letting a man pay for your meal is in no way subordination. What matters most is not that he is aware that you have the ability to buy your own meals, but that you know it and you don’t lose it. Besides, letting him pay for this meal would mean more money to spend on another meal. Or a Kate Spade bag.
2) Always check for toilet paper
‘Nuff said.
3) Work is never more important than sleep
Personally, I cannot function for long without sleep. I’ve heard of tales of machines (I don’t consider them people) who run on a diet of Red Bull and Milo, but seriously? Why would you rather be hunched over a crummy desk full of assignments than snuggling under a soft blanket of eternal warmth and happiness? Besides, when you sleep more, you work better! It’s been scientifically proven (or something like that).
And, just one word: EYEBAGS. Oh wait, if you have a plastic surgeon I guess that’s fine. Darn. Oh I’ve thought of another word!: DREAMS. Dreams are like watching TV in your head, except instead of Grey’s Anatomy and Meridith’s whining, it’s your subconscious whining! Best. Drama. Ever.
4) Money can buy happiness and those who insist otherwise are either in denial or just jealous of rich people.
“LIES!” “Materialist!” “MONEY FACE!” – yeah, yeah okay I will take your rotten tomatoes for a bit. But honestly, money can buy you comfort in life. And with comfort, I believe that yes, people will feel better off than if they were uncomfortable. Money can buy warmth, shelter, food, water, medical care, education… With money there is no doubt that you will be given the chance at a happy life. It’s up to you to screw that up.
But no, I don’t think that money can buy love. Aaaaha the idealist in me speaketh.
5) Trees make people happy :)
I mean, hello? Trees = firewood, paper, autumn leaves (the best), flowers, tree houses, swings, shade, squirrels, life, oxygen, prevention of landslides (more important than you think!) et cetera. Need I say more? Go hug/plant/kiss a tree today.
6) Some clothes are really just not meant for you.
Some people say that all we need is the right attitude to carry off certain looks. I definitely agree, but only to a certain extent. You cannot completely ignore your body shape and face, people! Imagine some fat babyface in a Stepford Wife getup. That is just disturbing. Image consultants exist for a reason, darlings.
7) Sing in the shower daily
Better than prescription drugs. True story!"
alvin bought a flamethrower at 11:21 AM
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