that's it. i think i'll stop taking guit lessons. in a way it's been great because i never thought i wld put so much effort into learning an instrument, but it's a pity too since i would love to become more pro. but i think i've been stagnating long enough, and that's partly because i hardly have the time to practise nowadays. i shld just concentrate on genus, have a satisfying annual concert, and see how things go from there, guitaring-wise.

sigh. it's the second night in a row i've almost cried, wet eyes and stuff. i hate it when i cast fresh doubts onto my abilities and capabilities. i really really need something to show myself that i can do what i thought i could. such a sucky feeling when thinking back, the times i felt good about myself were more of daydreams than reality. i knew i cld cope. i thought i cld cope. i wish i cld cope.

dam am not gonna have enough sleep again but i hope i'll still have a good time at chalet.